The Stuff

I'm almost embarrassed to be defending the merits of this movie. Most aspects which make great movies great - the relatable characters, intriguing dialogue, immersive visuals - are all horribly botched in The Stuff. But I can say without a hint of irony that I love this film, and I'll explain why.

The movie opens with a group of miners ready to leave their arctic digsite and return home. One strays a bit from the group and notices an eerie white substance bubbling and popping and inching about in the snow. To his surprise and delight, the mysterious substance tastes like a delicious confectionery treat! They can make a fortune selling this stuff! Let me back track a bit: A man spots a splotch of gurgling slime on the ground, PUTS IT IN HIS MOUTH without showing so much as a semblance of reluctance and decides to market it. Clearly, when it comes to the characters' intelligence in this film, the bar is set pretty low.

Criminal stupidity is part of the charm - as is the case in most B-movies that came out of the cultural vacuum we call the 1980's - but that's not why I especially love The Stuff. On the surface it’s an absurd tale about a malevolent space pudding, but underneath its skin is a story built on challenging adversity in a society brainwashed by mass-marketing. This movie features as much hacky, gut-churning dialogue as it features biting commentary on hyper-consumerism.

Practically overnight the gooey white dessert is rushed through the FDA and distributed en masse. "The Stuff" is plastered up on billboards, benches and bus sides; TV personalities are endorsing it as the new ice cream; every supermarket in America is stocking their shelves with it - it's everywhere. There are only a few left in the country who are impervious to this sort of omnipresent mass-marketing: Enter our nauseating hero, Jason.

When Jason (portrayed by fumbling 12-year-old Scott Bloom), is perusing his fridge for a late-night snack, he notices some unsettling squirmy movement from an open Stuff tub - Good lord! The Stuff is ALIVE! The seemingly harmless dessert is actually a sentient parasite, taking over peoples' bodies to fulfill their own agenda of world domination! Hundreds of thousands are now host to this parasite thanks to the evils of corporate greed. When the host is all used up, The Stuff abandons their desiccated body in an intensely horrific manner.

Underneath the hokey acting, dialogue, directing, and visual effects is a great movie that has something relevant to say about consumerism and really warrants a remake.